Thursday, January 01, 2009
Another $800 to add on to the medical bills.
And that sums up to roughly $1500+++
excluding all the misc fees.
Fuck.
How i hate spending his hardearned just doing what i do.
I cant even remember how many times have i stopped and wondered
"why the hell am i doing this"
only to find myself stumped without an answer..
To seek that orgasmic-like feeling each time you put in your best and come in first?
Now, how many times have i actually experienced that.
Cept for the times i run 100ms.
But fuck, im not even in some Track and Field team.
All this money, time, energy.
Really, what for?
I'm no where.
All this medals from non-competitive races.
And all this consolation medals with numbers that go beyond 3.
Proudly displayed on my shelf
Trying to cheat myself and non-competitors on how much ive achieved
When in reality,
i've achieved nothing more than a sense of shame.
I wish there was something in me i could be proud of.
More often,
it isnt the body thats unable
but the mind thats unwilling
*PS I Love You
5:12 AM
